About Me

UnsMothering (verb) 

 A process of internal dismantling of oppressive patriarchal systems and structures that keep women and mothers from accessing their power, pleasure and potential; in order to awaken, embody and reclaim their fullest authentic self-expression.

When I was 7 years old, I witnessed something magical.

Something so peaceful, yet so powerful and awe-inspiring that it set the path for my life.

I watched a woman birth a child.

In the warm waters of a birth pool in the family room of her tranquil home.

That woman was my mother.

After my sister was born, three years later at 10 years old, I was there again, this time patting my mum’s forehead with a cool washer as she laboured in magnificent calm, before my baby brother entered the world.

These experiences hard-wired a clear message into my psyche. They programmed within me a deep KNOWING that women are exceptional creatures, capable of immense strength.

My mother had shown me the sheer power of what is possible when
mind, body and soul are aligned with our truth.

Sadly, as I grew older I found myself continually bombarded with messages attempting to dispute what I KNEW, on a deep cellular level. Messages that were and continue to be counterintuitive to my being. Messages about what my body could or couldn’t handle.

That my body didn’t belong to me. That my body was inferior.

There were times that these messages won out. They tricked me into a false narrative – one I didn’t write. Sometimes I was able to close the chapter and begin again with the story I knew in my heart.

Other times those poisonous words found home in my body, expressing as illness, self-sabotage, and perpetual shame and fear.

Since birthing my own beautiful girls into the world, I’ve decided to call

BULLSHIT.

Bullshit on the limiting messages that are ripping women off from the joy of
living powerfully and in alignment with their true self.

Bullshit on passing down toxic beliefs that eat away at
the glorious potential of our baby girls.

Bullshit on doing the world a disservice by keeping the voices of women quiet
when they could heal the very fabric of our disintegrating planet.

Many others are calling bullshit too.

A shift in consciousness is happening. The tides are turning and women are stepping up.

But to do this we must

UN-LEARN. OWN. EXPRESS. DEVOTE.

We must relish in the capability of body, mind and spirit. We must ignite creativity and let loose with epic visions of greatness.

The feminine rebels have arrived. 

Womanhood. UnsMothered.

My Body of Work

I meet women every day experiencing the same challenges that I’ve faced to show up in their relationships, mothering and career as their true, multi-faceted selves – without fear, guilt or shame.

Over time, I’ve become deeply intimate with what holds many women back, or as I like to refer to it, what smothers their attempts at accessing the incredible power, pleasure and potential available to them.

And what smothers them? I call it the “Feminine Acceptability Model”.

In my view, the FAM is a social model built upon patriarchal cultural ideals constituting acceptable feminine roles, appearance, behaviours, qualities and expression.

The FAM grinds us down. It confuses us and oppresses us by being super paradoxical and limiting, leaving only a tiny “acceptable” window for us to explore and express all of who we are.

This means many of us have struggled our whole lives to feel safe to express, relate, communicate and create as our full, authentic selves – because we’re afraid of embracing our true feminine nature.

We suffer at the hands of the “good girl complex”, which feeds on shame, guilt and fear of inhabiting the full potency and diversity of our emotions, sexuality, anger, and power.

I believe that each of us, regardless of biology or gender, possess both masculine and feminine qualities and energy.  As women and mothers, however, there are very narrow expectations around what’s acceptable in these roles.

Let me give you some examples:

  • If we don’t show emotion when expected, we are not enough (cold, hard, bitch)
  • But, if we show large or heightened displays of emotion, we are too much (hysterical, overbearing, intense)
  • If we don’t put loads of effort into appearing attractive and put together, we are not enough (un-feminine, sloppy, dowdy)
  • But, if we put lots of effort into appearing attractive and put together, we are too much (over the top, mutton-dressed-as-lamb, slutty)

As a mother, if we desire to work outside the home and enlist support to care for our children, (selfish, neglectful, masculine) OR if we desire to be with our children full time and not pursue outside work (martyr, non-feminist, bludger) we’re either not enough or too much depending on which side of the fence you consult.

You might be getting the picture here.

I’m not sure about you, but as far as the Feminine Acceptability Model is concerned, you can’t win easily. When we look at many issues affecting women and mothers; culturally, socially and politically the feminine is given a small window of okayness. Simply, If you can’t position yourself perfectly in that window (who can?!) it’s no question that so many of us drown in the guilt, fear and shame that the FAM likes to perpetuate.

This is why the Feminine Rebellion was born. We must unite the collective and dismantle the FAM for good.

I so hope you’ll join me, Diamond.

Nerdy + Fun Stuff

I’ve been a big ol’ study geek most of my life (but at high school it was all about singing and dancing, baby!)
I went a tad overboard and have acquired these credentials (so far – let’s face it, learning is life!):

+ Bachelor of Education (QUT)

+ Post Graduate Diploma of Counselling (ACAP)

+ Master of Counselling & Psychotherapy (ACAP)

+ Feminine Embodiment Coaching Certification (SOEA)

Some of the more interesting things about me…

+ I’m the eldest of 5 siblings and my mum still lives in our childhood home which is the most comforting place I know

+ I’m married to a handsome half-Scottish rogue and we’ve been together 16 years and created 2 sassy daughters who inspire me to unsMother myself more every day.

+ I’m a Pisces Sun, with Virgo Rising and a Sagittarius Moon; which basically means I’m a super sensitive dreamer who strangely manages to get shit done with efficiency, despite socialising like a mo-fo and swinging between states of calm and chaos! (the epitome of an introverted extravert)

+ I’m a home-birthing, pro-choice, Montessori mama who questions everything, won’t support the pathologising of normal human emotions and rejects anything proclaiming “one-size-fits all”.

+ When I stopped religiously straightening my “wild”, “unruly” and “curly hair” and let it be free, I began to remember who I was.

+ Dancing and writing poetry and prose are where I go to meet and express my uninhibited feminine essence.

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