The mother wound lives in the shadows.
Do you remember the first time you consciously came face to face with this wounding?
Many of us step into motherhood excited, but apprehensive. Unsure of the details, but instinctively hoping/trusting that we’ll learn to flourish.
As we go along, doing our best to follow all the expert advice and give our loved ones everything we have, we’re likely to hit some speed bumps reconciling our new role.
Despite best intentions, constant triggers and reactive behaviours which feel beyond our control begin to rear their heads. Frustration ensues. We might be hit with anxiety. Fall into depression.
Mothering can instigate a major transitional crisis.
If you walk the world with your eyes open, it’s distressing the level that the modern mother is pathologised, stigmatised, ostracised, and misogynised (not actually a word but you KNOW what I mean).
Perhaps you’ve been here. Perhaps you’ve felt – or still do – that there is something inherently wrong with you.
The Nurture Mama archetype is the medicine we need to show us we’re not broken.
The systems and structures created to maintain the patriarchal status quo? They have been designed to keep us feeling broken. They are deeply harmful.
The systems most of us believe exist to support us, actually dishonour our feminine knowing and lead us neatly into the transitional crisis of motherhood.
Enter, the personal and collective mother wound.
The script that lives cell deep.
It’s the Nurture Mama Archetype that invites us into new relationship with our feminine wounding, inviting us to interrupt generational patterns of pain and disempowerment.
It runs through our matrilineal line.
It runs through our patrilineal line.
It runs through our collective psyche.
It runs through our animal bodies.
It runs through our spirit bodies.
The mother wound runs through all of us, even if we don’t realise it.
Those who come into motherhood with eyes and heart open – not just to her partner and children – but also to herself and her evolving identity, have a chance to grow through it and beyond it.
Those who learn to surrender to change, trusts feminine knowing and speaks from the heart, allow the mother wound to be a gateway to healing and the healing of the collective feminine.
This mama embarks on a process of stripping back the programmed bullshit, to access her deepest nurturing truths and learn to embody self-compassion, self-acceptance and commit to living as her open-hearted, authentic self.
In order to get to this place of aligned, integrated mothering, the energy of the Nurture Mama declares:
I nurture my own wounds to best nurture my children
The wounds passed down by your mother.
By your mother’s mother, and back as far as the imagination can fathom.
The truth is, even if your relationship with your mother feels healthy, reciprocal and evolved, by nature of being a woman born of the patriarchy you will have inherited core beliefs around womanhood and motherhood.
Many may reside in your conscious acknowledgement and are a source of active frustration.
Yet there will be many living in your bones. The fabric of your embodied experience. Places the intellect doesn’t have a hope in hell of shifting, until the body is on board.
The Nurture Mama archetype begs you to scratch under the surface. Dig deeper into how women have functioned in generations of your family.
Some things may jump out as obvious. Maybe there was abuse. Perhaps there were financial issues. Punitive parenting styles. Martyrdom.
Maybe they were a little less obvious. Generations of similar variations of illness or mental health issues. Messages around the ability to birth or breastfeed. Insidious shame around the feminine form, weight, and worthiness.
All symptoms of the mother wound manifested by generations of the same unconscious conditioning.
All amounting to: Not enough.
This facet of the mother needs us to confront these wounds with compassion.
Examining our relationship to our mother in honesty, means potentially having some hard conversations or setting some clear personal boundaries. This is not easy work.
In the instance where a strong mother/daughter bond exists, it’s our responsibility to acknowledge where your mother’s truth ends and YOUR truth begins.
When we cultivate the Nurture Mama within, we can recognise enmeshment for what it is. We understand that staying small to avoid our mother feeling her own uncomfortable emotions is an example of the mother wound, alive and well.
We can be really honest with ourselves. We’re able to lean into the wounding, no matter the discomfort. We say goodbye to the core beliefs that aren’t doing us service, knowing this will set us free.
And by simply demonstrating our worth, our mothers have permission to do the same.
Because of this commitment to healing, our family can enter a new phase of growth.
Growth that puts nurturing our needs, first.
This looks like demonstrating acceptance and compassion for our imperfections, while simultaneously committed to unraveling our own potential.
Loving deeply and genuinely, from a place of wholeness afforded to those who aren’t caught in the resentment trap.
Rejecting the idea that prioritising our own needs for self-care must come at the expense of our capacity to nurture others.
This is the nurture mama. No longer the martyr mama.
Expanding the capacity to tend to our own hearts first, in order to give from a wellspring overflowing.
Would you like to soften into the power of your Nurture Mama, break free of the mother wound and support her to thrive within the beautiful ecosystem of YOU? Trust that this whole, compassionate, heartfelt soul already resides within.
Invoke and embody your multi-faceted superpowers and reconnect to your true nature.
Next up… the Boss Mama.