The time has come to commit to the change you desire.
You’re determined to take the plunge into something new. Ready to be vulnerable in your relationship and unapologetically state your needs. Change the dynamic with your mother. Step it up in your career. Pivot with your business and follow your true passion.
You’ve been doing the work, the manifesting, the self-care, the learning all about your limiting beliefs and committed to “vibing high”.
So why is your body responding so ferociously to your attempts at breaking new personal ground and transcending your lowly human limitations?
Why does the change you desire seem relentlessly out of reach?
This is a post for the women in the trenches of self-exploration and are frustrated as f**k with the perceived barriers they continue to meet within themselves; notably how their body responds to taking meaningful steps towards change.
Girl, this message is for you:
The change you desire for yourself so desperately? It starts in your body.
Specifically, learning to feel SAFE in it.
It’s fair to say that you may come from many, many generations of women who did not feel safe in their body.
They’ve been taught not to trust it, to give it away or to surrender to having it taken at will, to pathologise it, and to deny it.
All the wiring, the programming, the defence mechanisms, the learned behaviours, the insidious social and cultural messages… they reside in your body and are expressed through your core response network (CRN).
Your CRN is made up of your autonomic nervous system, the limbic system (emotional brain) and other regulatory functions.
So, when you’re in a state of stress or trauma (which can often occur in response to attempting a new pattern of behaviour or trying something new), your CRN releases a flood of chemicals putting your whole system out of balance and initiating a primal response to the stressor or perceived danger. This you would recognise as your trusty fight/flight/or freeze reflex.
Although we can appreciate our brain and body to be exceptional at working to keep us safe from threatening situations, unfortunately when we’re consciously committed to growing beyond the wounds, cycles and destructive patterns that keep us feeling stuck…
… well, these overwhelming physiological responses to new stimuli (i.e. change) are a right pain in the arse.
So what’s the key?
I believe it’s about starting from the base – UP.
Not the head – DOWN.
It’s about acknowledging that until we feel safe in our own body, we will find it very difficult to make lasting, unwavering, embodied attempts at change.
In my work as a psychotherapist and feminine embodiment coach, safety in the body in it’s most simple terms, feels like a continual process of anchoring and re-anchoring into the body, and the conscious observing of sensations as we surrender to gravity and allow ourselves to be held by the earth.
However, in our day-to-day lives, we are on a mission to “get shit done”.
Getting shit done usually refers to ploughing through a list of tasks that can be checked off and completed on auto-pilot.
For many, even the practice of meditating and mindfulness has become yet another obligation on the list of “shoulds”.
If you ever feel your heart race, breath becoming shallow, or your muscles tensing at the pressure of having to squeeze a meditation session into your busy day, then I’d respectfully invite you to explore that.
Often, it’s not until we stop, allow ourselves to BE and check in with the messages of our body, that we may notice that our nervous system is in a perpetual state of threat response.
If you’re not in immediate danger and you notice your body sending you signals of being unsafe, then until that state is acknowledged, given space to be felt with compassion, honoured for it’s purpose, and then completed and liberated, it may not be the time to embark on any significant change, no matter how passionate your desire.
I use the tools of feminine embodiment to gently guide women into their bodies, so the personal shifts they yearn for can be introduced into their system in ways that feel safe for them to first explore with curiosity, and then embrace in a fully embodied way.
By opening with gratitude at how our body serves us, we can thank her for her past work at keeping us safe, and begin to introduce possibilities – for being more vulnerable, authentic, courageous and creative in all aspects of our lives, that feel both terrifying and downright risky.
Risk is necessary for a full and rich life.
Risk is necessary in the pursuit of the change you desire.
Yet, cultivating the sensation of safety must occur before embarking on changes that feel like risk.
By welcoming the feelings of both SAFETY and RISK in the body, within the supportive container of a therapeutic and/or coaching relationship, is to essentially practice introducing notions of healthy, positive change into ones life in preparation for them to actually implement it.
Within the framework of the Diamond Mother Archetypes, although many can be applied, the Boss Mama and the Wild Mama present powerful access points for exploring safety and change for women I work with.
As women, our safety often begins with our base. Our root chakra, our most primal needs for survival.
Perhaps surprisingly, the Boss Mama derives her feminine power for kick-ass success, organisation and passionate drive and determination from her base. The bottom – UP.
She doesn’t over-think, she trusts. She doesn’t compare, she stands powerfully in her unique offering to the world. She doesn’t merely strategise and worry about “the way things are done”, she feels into her needs and plugs into the earth to support her to move forward.
We meet the Wild Mama in the womb space. Our sacral chakra. To surrender to her feels risky. It feels dangerous.
This is why we need to be comfortable in our safety first.
We need to have spent time practicing being IN our bodies, without anyone asking anything of us, without feeling the need to perform, without having expectations of ourselves.
When we feel safe to drop into our Wild Mama, she might feel like a welcome rebellion. She also might feel scary and uncomfortable. Even awkward – like you’re an imposter playing a character far from the role you’re used to.
All normal responses when trying something new and potentially RISKY.
What I love witnessing however, is a woman who meets her Wild Mama after time cultivating the safety in her body that she requires to step into the wild unknown, and her relishing in it.
Dancing with her imperfections.
Moving with the messiness.
Owning her most audacious dreams.
Celebrating that which previously drenched her in shame.
Feeling bold enough to choose action to support her readiness to take risk.
TO STEP INTO THE WILD BOSS THAT SHE IS.
Are you on the Sunshine Coast, Australia and intrigued by Feminine Embodiment or the Diamond Mother Archetypes? Join us live for the final workshop in the Facets of HER series, where the Boss Mama and the Wild Mama will be explored. All info can be found HERE.
In another part of this wonderful world and wondering how to connect with Kate and this unique work?
You can also check out the free Mama Magic Online Embodiment Workshop for a powerful taster!