She steps into motherhood knowing she was born for the job. Unsure of the details, but instinctively trusting they will come. Over time, with constant selfless giving, things begin to change.
Despite her best intentions, she is constantly triggered and falls into behaviours which are seemingly beyond her control. Frustration ensues. Anxiety. Depression. A major transitional crisis.
She is pathologised, stigmatised, ostracised, misogynised .
She doesn’t understand what’s wrong with her.
But nothing is wrong with HER. Systems that don’t support or honour her feminine knowing only exacerbate her symptoms.
Symptoms that run deep.
She is mothering from her mother wound.
But this doesn’t have to be the script.
Despite a system that currently works against her, there is power in approaching her pain from another angle.
Those things that she deems WRONG with her are merely the shadows born of her inherited wounds. They’re no-one’s fault. Yet, they require her attention in a different way.
The woman who comes into motherhood with her eyes and heart open – not just to her partner and children – but also to herself and her evolving identity, has a chance to grow.
The woman who surrenders to change, practices constant gratitude and speaks her heart, allows the mother wound to be a source of healing.
She is the Nurture Mama.
This mama embarks on a process of stripping back the programmed bullshit, to access her deepest nurturing truths and learn to embody self-compassion, self-acceptance and commit to living as her authentic self.
In order to get to this place of aligned, integral mothering, the nurture mama makes herself a pledge:
Nurture my own wounds to best nurture my children
The wounds the nurture mama speaks of here are those related to her own mother. And here’s the thing, even the woman who declares that her mother is her best friend and they’ve never shared a harsh word, must be exceptionally honest with themselves.
The truth is, the collective feminine is in the midst of a serious consciousness shift, so even if your relationship is reciprocal and evolved, by nature of being a woman born of the patriarchy you will have inherited core beliefs around womanhood and motherhood. Some that won’t be serving you, bringing you pain, and negating your highest potential.
The Nurture Mama would urge you to scratch just under the surface. Dig a little deeper into how women have functioned in generations of your family.
Some things may jump out as obvious. Maybe there was abuse. Perhaps there were financial issues. Punitive parenting styles. Ideas about body image. Martyrdom.
Maybe they were a little less obvious. Generations of the same illness or mental health issue. Messages around the ability to birth vaginally or breastfeed.
All variations of the mother wound derived from core beliefs. Manifested by generations of the same unconscious conditioning.
Attributed to women being “less than”.
Translated to “NOT ENOUGH”.
The nurture mama has confronted these wounds head on. She has examined her relationship to her mother in honesty, potentially having some hard conversations or setting some clear personal boundaries.
In the instance where a strong mother/daughter bond exists, she has acknowledged where her mother’s truth ends and HER truth begins.
She recognises enmeshment for what it is. She understands that staying small so to avoid her mother feeling bad is an example of her own mother wound, alive and well.
So she gets really honest with herself. She leans into her mother wound, no matter the discomfort. She says goodbye to the core beliefs that aren’t doing her service, knowing that this will set her free.
And by simply demonstrating her worth, it’s likely that her mother begins to heal as well.
But most importantly, her family enters a new phase of growth.
Her children witness a woman in her power.
A woman who demonstrates acceptance and compassion for her imperfections, while simultaneously committed to unraveling her own potential.
A woman who loves deeply and genuinely, from a place of wholeness afforded to those who aren’t caught in the resentment trap.
A woman who rejects the idea that prioritizing her own needs for self-care must come at the expense of her capacity to nurture others.
This is the nurture mama. No longer the martyr mama.
The modern maternal figure.
She rises with a gentle presence that does not dictate or dominate.
Her wounds are tended to. Perhaps never fully healed in this lifetime, but she is aware of their influence and meets them where they are.
Through her warm embrace, her newfound freedom is passed down to her children.
Until the day she is met by her own daughter and HER mother wound.
On that day she’ll be ready. With an open heart she will strip back yet another layer on her mothering journey.
If you feel drawn to meeting your Nurture Mama and breaking free of your own mother wound, I would be honoured to support you.
I invite you to join me for a complimentary 40-minute discovery call where I will show you how you can harness not only her magic, but the potent qualities of all 8 Diamond Mother Archetypes, to connect to your powerful body-based wisdom and cultivate deep self-knowing, trust and confidence as a mother.
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